Friday, March 1, 2013

For His 4th Term, Bloomberg Plans to Introduce Geki-sema Housing to Manhattan


Speaking to reporters this morning, Mayor Bloomberg has announced plans to introduce "Geki-sema" housing in Manhattan in his fourth term. "We have a considerable influx of young students and professionals into Manhattan and realize that even the micro-units we introduced last year are not enough to provide affordable housing.  Geki-sema housing is working in Japan, so I've taken the initiative, with the cooperation of the City Council, to make New York once again the beacon of light in America for a new way of living. This is the future, and New York will be at the forefront."

Readers can check out Geki-sema housing at this link.

When questioned as to whether the tiny Geki-sema units are inhumane, the Mayor responded: "Some people want big apartments, and some people don't.  Besides, we are getting an increasing Asian population in the city, and these rooms can accommodate them perfectly."

Meanwhile, Stuy Town Reporter has learned that CWCapital is investigating the possibility of creating such Geki-sema units in forthcoming refurbished apartments.  The possibility of housing ten or more NYU students in a single one-bedroom apartment has its obvious advantages. Price per unit/per person being considered: an affordable $2,000.

As in the case of the micro-units that Bloomberg introduced last year, the City Council is currently drawing up new regulations that will waive the zoning prohibition of the construction of tiny units in apartments. In fact, one source claims that zoning rules may be completely re-written.

31 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love you STRRRRR!!!! I'm sure this will be coming soon to our stuytown pcv!!!!!

Anonymous said...

With our already 8 foot ceiling heights, they could even stack them double-high! Maybe even brand it as Loft Living! Imagine how many more students you'd get into a 1 BR then! Entire fraternities would be able to live together in a single unit, all 32 guys sharing a single bathroom. Woo hoo!

Anonymous said...

Thanks--I needed a laugh.

Anonymous said...

Don't give the little twerp ideas, STR!

Anonymous said...

April Fools' post a little early?

Anonymous said...

CW must be getting desperate for new tenants as they doubled the referral fee for introducing a new tenant from $500 to $1000

Giovanni said...

I believe the literal translation of Geki-sema is "Coffin Room.".

When apartments are smaller than prison cells, Rikers Island no longer looks like a bad option.

Bloomberg's micro apartments are nothing new, the original tenement building apartments were just as dark and cramped and served the interest of the only group that has ever had real power in this city: landlords.

And when landlords start putting tenants into coffin like apartments before they are dead, it's time to return the favor.

As the the great Eddie Murphy once said....

Dark and lonely on a summer's night
Kill my landlord
Kill my landlord
Watchdog barking
Do he bite?
Kill my landlord
Kill my landlord
Slip in his window
Break his neck
Then his house
I start to wreck
Got no reason
What the heck
Kill my Landlord
Kill my landlord
C-I-L-L
my l a n d l o r d

Images
by Tyrone Green
(performed by Eddie Murphy)

Stuy Town Reporter said...

That's a five-bedroom apartment they are pimping for the 1K referral fee.

Anonymous said...

The original tenement developer in NY was Julius Tishman., the great grandfather of our beloved pillager, Robbie.

Anonymous said...

I got an email from PCVST Living inviting me to upgrade to a larger apartment at an astronomical rent.

Anonymous said...

I bet the people will no laundry till September will be referring up a storm! No pun intended.

Anonymous said...

we have reached the turning point here in STPCV. We are now becoming a ghetto. Dirty hallways in need of a paint job. Garbage cans outside of entrance ways n anyone is free to use our playgrounds & basketball courts. No security n no response from RS when you call for info. Very sad state of affairs.

Anonymous said...

Mold condition. 285 avenue C. Terrace entrance.

Anonymous said...

And no heat.

HAL 9000 said...

Kramer has been there, done that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtsOQz2I09g

I guess this is where Bloomberg got his idea from. He is such a little pr***. BTW, he was booed yesterday as he walked in the annual St. Patrick's Parade in the hurricane-ravaged Rockaways. And his lady in waiting, Ms Quinn, soon dropped him like a bad habit and took off as soon as the booing started. Don't believe her PR that it was planned.

Anonymous said...

"Mold condition. 285 avenue C. Terrace entrance."

Don't you get it that they want all the RS tenants to get sick and die, and if that means a few MR tenants go down with them, then all the better. MR tenants and students (particularly students) can be sucked in any time. They just really want all the RS tenants to die and will do whatever it takes! Mold is a good way to kill somebody who may have a compromised immune system or be very elderly and weak. They're not stupid over at Campus Crock, just really, really evil.

Hippo said...

Clang, clang, clang...kaboom, kaboom, kaboom...sounds this morning in my apartment....what was it? The Stuyvesant Town Marching Band?..NO!...the banging of the pipes as the pittance of heat came up this morning...talk about waking the dead...I have called Maintenance about this a number of times and they say the heating system has to be drained and it will be done...eventually...haha...love this luxury living!
P.S. STR you perform a great service for the community by hosting this blog and I, for one, salute you and very much appreciate your valuable work.

Anonymous said...

in my building we have tooooo much heat!!!!! My apt. registers at 85 degrees!!!!!! It is unbearable n causing medical problems. I know of MANY apartments in my PCV building with excessive heat. Office has no explanation. Heard it was because the sensors in basement are "dead "due to Sandy but that is not an official explanation.

Anonymous said...

Don't anybody ever forget that a vote for Christine Quinn is a vote for Bloomberg Part IV. She overturned the will of the people who had democratically voted for term limits (along with several council members); she closed St. Vincent's because Rudin made her an offer she couldn't refuse. She is a filthy, vile, corrupt POS and if you want more of Bloomberg, go ahead and vote for her. Personally, I would vote for anybody except her, but I think there will be some very viable candidates.

Anonymous said...

Here's a report on NYCHA's plan to build luxury housing on the LES: http://www.thelodownny.com/leslog/2013/03/a-closer-look-nychas-plan-to-build-luxury-housing-on-the-lower-east-side.html

Anonymous said...

12: 51 link broken. can you re post it?

Anonymous said...

7:28 pm. "She's a filthy, vile POS" ???

Really?? Do you read yourself? You are the filthy vile POS by writing that. She may or may not be an ideal choice for mayor, but please take a look at yourself. You are a very bad person yourself the way you talk.

Anonymous said...

I'd call Quinn "filthy vile POS" too !!

Bought and paid for by Bloomberg. Scum of the earth politician. Got a few more to add to that barrel as well.

Anonymous said...

"I'd call Quinn "filthy vile POS" too !!

Bought and paid for by Bloomberg. Scum of the earth politician. Got a few more to add to that barrel as well."

Me too! Add David Yassky to that pile of crap! He voted for overturning term limits for Bloomberg and he has driven the taxi industry into the ground. Why don't we have American made new cabs instead of these monstrosities made in Mexico? Bloomberg and Yassky must be getting a kickback somewhere along the line. On top of that he treats the yellow cab drivers like garbage. Some of them are just that, but most of them are not.

Anonymous said...

Mayor Dracula!

Anonymous said...

I tend to agree that a vote for Ms. Quinn would be a vote for an extension of Mayor Yentaberg. While Quinn probably wouldn't be into monitoring everybody's bowel movements the way Yentaberg is, I do think that she has very, very dirty hands and is NOT a friend of the people. At least not unless "the people" are Real Estate entities who would happily see a hospital (think St. Vinnies) close down and line Ms. Quinn's coffers for the go-ahead to do that. That was even in her district! She doesn't want minimum wage workers to get paid sick days because she professes to care about small businesses. Excuse me, the Yentaberg administration has been an death sentence to small business (they get in the way of big RE, you know) and Ms. Quinn has been just as callous as Yentaberg when it comes to small businesses. Another thing, she has an even more fragile ego and thinner skin than Yentaberg. At least we've never seen him blubber or storm off when things didn't go his way. Please do not vote for Ms. Quinn unless you want more of the same and probably worse!

Anonymous said...

Vote for Bill Thompson!

He barely lost to Mayor Mike four years ago. That was an upset in itself.

Anonymous said...

"12: 51 link broken. can you re post it?"

I just copied and pasted the link, and it's fine. The post is from The Lo-Down (thelodownny.com). The piece is about NYCHA selling public space to private interests for luxury housing on the LES.

And on another topic: Quinn is indeed a bucket of slime. I could describe her relationship with Bloombucks in a more vulgar way, but I'll just say that she's been in bed with him all along. Voters beware.

Anonymous said...

BTW, there is a FB page called "Defeat Christine Quinn"

https://www.facebook.com/DefeatChristineQuinn

Anonymous said...

I see that a judge has overturned Bloomturd's stupid large soda ban. Hopefully, this is the beginning of the end of this Soviet-style regime. Ms. Quinn would be more of the same because her quid pro quo demands it.

Stuy Town Reporter said...

Anyone who voted for extending term limits and by-passing the will of the people TWICE, should not receive any votes from the people. Case closed.