Monday, May 8, 2017

Asser Levy is Open Too -- and has a Swimming Pool!


Having trouble getting motivated or want to increase your activity level for the summer? Asser Levy’s onsite gym and swimming pool has personal trainers to help you reach your goal. Nicknamed “the Prison Gym,” your personal trainer could be black or Puerto Rican, but that’s just to get you motivated the Asser Levy way. If you don’t lift those 100-pound barbells, you get laughed at and called a pussy. So stop by Asser Levy and talk some shit to the guys in charge and you are in! Rates are real cheap, too, not like those for the girlie men and little drama queens across the way in Stuy Town.

Also join us at McDonald’s, at 23 Street near 1st Avenue, this coming Friday. We are partnering with Belch and Feel Good, and will have live singing from the homeless who come here daily to take up space and perfume the air. There will be a live, as opposed to dead, demonstration of how to find an empty toilet when you need to take an hour or two. Make a Big Mac part of your weekend routine.

37 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am a member, and I have been for a very long time - mainly for proximity and price (I also belong to Crunch), and what you say is completely true. Most of the guys there do not hide that they were in prison, but they are all very friendly. With that being said, if I use it it's always after 8pm (the only quiet time).

Stuy Town Reporter said...

I go there too!

Stuy Town Reporter said...

BTW, this is a take-off on:

https://www.facebook.com/StuyTown/

Anonymous said...

I have been a member for some time now. Some helpful hints. Bring a “real” lock. A Master key lock, leave the combo locks home. Bring and wear bummy clothes. This is not Crunch, no need to impress anyone. Never leave any valuables in the locker. The fanny pack is your friend. This advice goes for any “high end“ gym as well. Take your shower at home. BTW, when you turn 62, the annual rate is $25 per year. Such a deal.

Stuy Town Reporter said...

Very good advice. Also be aware of specials, particularly for seniors. This is across the board and not just Asser Levy.

Anonymous said...

Asser Levy? Only old single losers go there.

Stuy Town Reporter said...

>>Asser Levy? Only old single losers go there.<<

You are wrong. Go there sometimes. Young, vibrant men and women and up. Meanwhile, only anxious cream-puffs go to the gym "amenity" on 20 St.

Stuy Town Reporter said...

I'm going to repost 11:37 AM, as there is too much space by accident.

Stuy Town Reporter said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...


From Facebook:

Adam Rose shared a link.
April 30 at 2:09am
The lack of carpeting in apartments is an epic failure on the part of misManagement and demonstrates their contempt for tenants' rights to the quiet enjoyment of their homes. Rick Hayduk, when are YOU going to FIX this problem?

Anonymous said...

I dont get it who is adam rose? is this associated with former management? -perplexed

Anonymous said...

What would happen if all New York City Tenants formed a union. Like the Hotel Union, the Construction and Builder Union, Teachers Union, and so on. The Tenants Union would have serious clout, to stop all the bullying from the real estate developers and hotel condo takeover of our homes. There must be over a million NYC tenants. Otherwise we have no voice, no standing, no clout. It would also negate any need for these so-called tenant associations.

Anonymous said...

rick does not give a hoot about noise. There is seriously an issue with the porous nature of the floors here - ya can hear anyone sneeze? that's fucked up.

and black mold people. check your black mold. alive and well here .

Anonymous said...

Forming a tenants union sounds like a great idea. I'm sick of having no real way to fight the Management here who clearly doesn't give a rat's ass about apartment floors being adequately covered with rugs.. And I agree with Adam Rose that Rick Hayduk is responsible for this problem. They got rid of that witch Donalda Habersham who was in charge of rug inspections, but the problem has not gotten any better. A lot of smoke and mirrors going on here, but they're not fooling anyone about what's really going on.

Anonymous said...

@5:32 PM, I wish we could form such a union. I really, absolutely would be in favor of that. I am sick of having my life at the mercy of these bloodsucking, soulless, godless vile bastards. I don't live in PCVST or even Manhattan because I think it's "trendy." Au Contraire, I think it is a shithole (at this point), but it is home. It is the only home I have ever known and when I was born here it was anything but a trendy place. I am not moving out because the bloodsucking "landlord" wants to turn it into a "luxury" deal because of the RE facists like TS, De B, Garodnick, et. They can drop dead and burn in hell. Nobody should be strong-armed out of their home by a cadre of bloodsucking greedmongers.

Anonymous said...

whoever adam rose is, I read the TA page and this lack of carpeting is clearly a widespread concern--it is obviously something the majority of tenants want addressed. it is criminal that the Ta does nothing about this.
(I write this to the usual late-night accompaniment of scraping and banging in the uncarpeted flex apartment above me. It is nearly 11pm and these idiots are doing their regular nightly furniture rearrangement.)

Stuy Town Reporter said...

>>I dont get it who is adam rose? is this associated with former management? -perplexed<<

He says he is not that Adam Rose.

Anonymous said...

Post it on Yelp people, fight back with reviews. Let the public know.

Anonymous said...

8.05 AM here.

One downside of A.L. is that during these “in between” months of May and early June, the A/C is not turned on until they get a directive from the Mayor’s office. But for a real New Yorker like me, no big deal. BTW, these are the current rates:

Adults 25 through 61-Access to All Centers-Annual Membership Fee: $150-Six-month membership available for $75
Seniors 62 and up-Access to All Centers-Annual Membership Fee: $25.

Bloomturd is the one who raised the fees back in 2010 I believe, annual from $75 to $150, senior from $10 to $25, etc. DB say what?

“Asser Levy? Only old single losers go there.”

Besides being false, this post is beyond despicable. Smacks of entitlement. Or in other words, the current demographic that Blackstone markets this dorm dump to. Why don’t you join a "high end” gym like David Barton?....................Oh wait, never mind.

I Sh*t in the Pool said...

Point of historical info about the Asser Levy Pool:
A couple of summers ago, I observed a couple of brown, perfectly formed elliptical "fish" floating by at the Asser Levy Pool..in a circular yellow band of water.
I asked a worker, "What's this??"
He replied, Oh,that's a type of fish usually found only here and other public pools. We call it the Speckled Brown Turd".
Gives a lot a class to the place!
Jus' sayin'...

Anonymous said...

You can't trust Yelp anymore either. There are companies out there that you pay them some money and they post glowing reviews for you. I can all but guarantee they are using this service, and they will make sure a bad review is met with 3 good ones.

Anonymous said...

BLACKSTONE is the reason the carpeting problem is not getting addressed here. They won't actually let Hayduk spend the $$$ and manpower necessary for apartment inspections because that would affect their bottom line. WHEN IN DOUBT, ALWAYS FOLLOW THE $$$$$$$$$$$$$.

Anonymous said...

May 10, 2017 at 3:22 PM

STR, Do not accuse others of being wrong simply because they disagree with you. In all due respect, I wouldn't go there if you paid me. I remember years ago what that placed looked like and I wouldn't step a foot in there. Has it changed, and is it clean? Maybe you are wrong.

Stuy Town Reporter said...

Are you referring to Asser Levy? I go there. The rates are cheap and there is nothing wrong with the people, unless some scare you away.

Stuy Town Reporter said...

>> I Sh*t in the Pool said...

Point of historical info about the Asser Levy Pool:
A couple of summers ago, I observed a couple of brown, perfectly formed elliptical "fish" floating by at the Asser Levy Pool..in a circular yellow band of water.
I asked a worker, "What's this??"
He replied, Oh,that's a type of fish usually found only here and other public pools. We call it the Speckled Brown Turd".
Gives a lot a class to the place!<<

I'm assuming you mean the communal pool outside. I wouldn't go there. But, neither ST or PVC has a pool, outside or inside. Yet.

Stuy Town Reporter said...

The bat is winning. A post linking to Town & Village is the reason.

You will be overjoyed to learn:

>>Marynia Kruk, community affairs manager at StuyTown Property Services, told us, “Wildlife is a part of the charm of our community and at Stuy Town, that wildlife includes bats. That bat that Ms. Kuklinski found and called Public Safety about was removed by one of our officers. We found a Good Samaritan who is nursing it back to health and hopes to release it into a park next week. In the future, when residents come across injured animals, they can call either 311 or Public Safety.”<<

So, yes, it's part of our charm.

Stuy Town Reporter said...

Kinda funny that the people so concerned about this bat are probably not vegetarians. Maybe I shouldn't make this assumption, but I think all of them are meat eaters. In other words, they are willing to have a living creature killed, just as long as they don't have to watch or be aware of the killing.

Also what is this nonsense about Asser Levy? Sounds like some people are put-off by the wrong color skin and a different class. I know that one of the hush-hush selling points of STPCV is the "right" color of the skin around here. Asians are very welcome because they are thought of as kinda wealthy and subservient. In other words, they don't cause trouble. Fess up. At least don't be hypocritical.

And, yes, the place for a long time was considered and written about as "the projects." Check your history, if you don't believe me.

Anonymous said...

'People" usually like to be around their "own kind". It's just human nature. Sorry.......

Stuy Town Reporter said...

>>Forming a tenants union sounds like a great idea.<<

If it's not part of the TA. Dues are a problem, too. Any new organization here will face a very uphill battle. Not that it can't be done. But be aware that you may have to count on very, very few people and almost no money.

Anonymous said...

>>Forming a tenants union sounds like a great idea.<<


"But be aware that you may have to count on very, very few people and almost no money."

So true. And how about forming an alternative organization to the TA? Zzzzzzzzzzzzz. Cue in tumbleweeds and crickets. The union idea is DOA.

Stuy Town Reporter said...

>>'People" usually like to be around their "own kind". It's just human nature. Sorry.......<<

I don't disagree.

Anonymous said...

10 08 that is horseshit as they're spending $$$$$ every time we call and have to have some putz from PS come to check it, visit us, visit the offensive upstairs clown.

Anonymous said...

Having StuyTown or any individual resident community form a union is ludicrous. An established organization with a following and standing in the political arena is better suited to form a union. The MetCouncil on housing can form the union or an organization like that could get one started. Doubtful and laughable that the commentator is saying the union should be formed in StuyTown when the populoation is less than half of what is used to be before the dreadfully disastrous rerouting of the tenant association pursuing condo board transformation.

Anonymous said...

10 08 that is horseshit as they're spending $$$$$ every time we call and have to have some putz from PS come to check it, visit us, visit the offensive upstairs clown.

Sorry, but I must respectfully disagree with you. With 11,000+ apartmenst here, it's much cheaper and easier to have PS show up and look like they're doing something than to actually inspect each and every apartment and follow-up to see that it has adequate carpeting.

Anonymous said...

Regarding carpeting (and every other issue of unbearable conditions):

Please, oh please wake up,

THIS IS ALL DELIBERATE

Anonymous said...

It is deliberate and Blackstone and Rick should just say it. WE would have more respect if they or he just said, noise sucks, we know, we have a problem with the structure of the building and we weill do nothing about it. Live with it or move. We won't be asking tenants to get rugs not not now or ever and dont call to complain we will just tell you the tenant has a rug.

Anonymous said...

Blackstone's and Rick's modus operandi is deception and false concern. They have attempted to appear benevolent from the beginning, voicing their concern for tenants, putting out surveys, and providing Rick as an accessible sounding board. It is all a facade. I would rather that they showed their true colors which involve greed and indifference. Tishman/Speyer and Capital Compass Rock were evil, but you knew what you were getting. Blackstone has destroyed the QOL here while smiling with their folksy charm.

Anonymous said...

6 41 and I agree. At least if i am going to get fucked royally, be straight up about it.

folks, we are not fixing the rug noise issue so stop calling. we want dogs, we dont care, we're not here to clean up after you. the buildings are falling down, tough shit, deal or move.