Having trouble getting motivated or want to increase your activity level for the summer? Asser Levy’s onsite gym and swimming pool has personal trainers to help you reach your goal. Nicknamed “the Prison Gym,” your personal trainer could be black or Puerto Rican, but that’s just to get you motivated the Asser Levy way. If you don’t lift those 100-pound barbells, you get laughed at and called a pussy. So stop by Asser Levy and talk some shit to the guys in charge and you are in! Rates are real cheap, too, not like those for the girlie men and little drama queens across the way in Stuy Town.
Also join us at McDonald’s, at 23 Street near 1st Avenue, this coming Friday. We are partnering with Belch and Feel Good, and will have live singing from the homeless who come here daily to take up space and perfume the air. There will be a live, as opposed to dead, demonstration of how to find an empty toilet when you need to take an hour or two. Make a Big Mac part of your weekend routine.