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At this point, Management has two priorities: 1) Making sure money is made, hence upgrading and filling up apartments is their goal. "Amenities" are important in selling the place, though few residents use them. 2) If someone needs medical attention, Public Safety will be there, if alerted.

Quality of life issues are not that important, however. They tend to be ignored, despite "the rules." So you will see a lot that isn't taken care of properly, and complaints will be met with a creative excuse and a smile.

"Peace and quiet" must be a cruel joke, though this property is sold that way. There can be no peace and quiet as ALL apartments must be upgraded, which includes the installation of an AC unit below the window. Aside from the continual construction about the neighborhood, there is a new and noisy subway extension being built along East 14 st and the shut down of the L line. "Choosing" to live in NYC, now the newest mantra, is a fabrication when the talk is of ST and PCV, which was traditionally quiet, with no construction noise.

Though money was always important, it is now more important than ever. Money rules many things, as you will find.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Stuy Town Lollipop Battles


Inspired by the Lolita poster art for the Spring Circus Carnival, Stuy Town's own adult emporium, PLAYGROUND 10, will be holding "Stuy Town Lollipop Battles" Friday evenings, beginning at 8pm, May 28th. All resident college-age sluts bikini beauties are urged to participate. Prizes include one-year of non-compliance with management's carpet rule and a free pair of Stiletto High Heel Shoes from HowCool.com.

NYU student Stacey Stankowiczkowa sent us this photo of her in serious training for the competition.


The event is for Residents and Their Guests only.

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow! Just wow! This looks almost as fun as the champagne facials and super soakers! By the way, the cock fighting and water sports were a hit yesterday! There was a good turn out despite the those tenant activists reminding potential renters about the horrors of living here. Two of college aged future renters stripped down to their knickers and mud wrestled in the Oval. And yes, there was side boob. A good time was had by all. Speaking of juggs, did you hear about the new food event at Oval Cafe? They hired live nude models to lay on the counter while sushi is served on their bodies. More! More! More!

Anonymous said...

Why are all their new posters so drab? They advertise events, green markets, etc. yet in black and white. Do they think this reads as sophisticated? They're so lifeless.

Anonymous said...

Family Events in Stuy Town has been redefined as packing and moving.

Stuy Town Reporter said...

12:02PM.... Stop it. You're getting me excited.

Stuy Town Reporter said...

>>Why are all their new posters so drab? They advertise events, green markets, etc. yet in black and white. Do they think this reads as sophisticated? They're so lifeless.<<

Stuy Town's PR and advertising firms have typically produced dumb campaigns. I can't believe such companies make good money doing this. Remember how we had a "backyard" in Stuy Town?

Anonymous said...

They are allegedly advertising a vibrant quality of life but are doing so in harsh black and white?

But you are right, these are the same people who thought up Escape New York (like Snake Plissken!) and the 80 Acre Backyard. Isn't that where Winnie the Pooh lived?

Anonymous said...

Here you go STR!

Nyotaimori, also known as body sushi, is the practice of serving sushi on a nude woman.

But the question remains, will Lady Maya get her aquatic delights at Oval Cafe or Hane?

Anonymous said...

Remember "A Park Runs Through It. A River Runs Around It."

Now a Swamp Runs Through It and a Park is Nowhere To Be Found.

Anonymous said...

Stuy Town: People Get Evicted From It!

Anonymous said...

Is that Jodie Foster from Taxi Driver??? She was a child prostitute for godsake!

Anonymous said...

Check out the video in the window of the leasing office. It makes the apartment shown--and its denizens--look like a high-class brothel. Lots of stilettos and no floor covering too. Paging Sydney Biddle Barrows!

Stuy Town Reporter said...

How to get the Stuy Town Reporter to sample the fine dining at Oval Cafe? Introduce Nyotaimori.

Anonymous said...

“Check out the video in the window of the leasing office…”

I saw that vid today as well while at today's rally. Truly an Onion like quality in its Yunnie splendor. More like a 30% carpet requirement regulation, at best. Notice that it hits all the right 20 something ethnic variations. No moms, dads, or children in sight. An updated “American Psycho” apartment for today's narcissistic generation. I am not doing a broad stroke attack on the millenniums, I know plenty of them (including my nephews and nieces) who are great. It's just this crop that are in our community are such clich√© models of the "Me" generation.

Anonymous said...

Generation WOO!

Anonymous said...

lascivious children? stay classy stuy town.

Anonymous said...

I thought that was Jodie Foster. What next, Tralala advertising Oval McSwiggins?

Anonymous said...

So now CW is promoting prostitution and kiddy porn? It figures.

Anonymous said...

Their advertisements are offensive. More! More! More pedophilia! is more like it! Oval Kids, the new red light district.

Anonymous said...

What next? Lady Maya's Donkey Shows?

Anonymous said...

Every day is a donkey show in Stuy Town since they only rent to jackasses. 5 people living upstairs from me right now in one bedroom.

Anonymous said...

Are these people for real? Don't they have PR advisors? Looks like kiddie porn.