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Wednesday, July 20, 2011

RIP: Stuy Town Golf Putting Green



On a hot, humid July 20th, 2011, Stuy Town's renowned mini putting green was put to rest. It will only be missed by the babes who sunbathed there and the perverts who drooled.

RIP

(But, please, don't put a Food Truck or a concession stand in its place!!!)

Update: A commenter wrote about the possibility of there being a new addition to the lovely Oval surroundings--Oval Compost.

Well, the Oval already has Oval Compost, right by Oval 19. Nice, rich, aromatic smells....



Update July 24: I've a hunch that the former Oval Golf will now be a security guardhouse.

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

One of the many idiotic "ammenties" that were thrown into Stuyvesant Town. Goodbye and good riddance. BTW did ANYONE ever really use it as a putting green?

Anonymous said...

I tremble to think of what Pimp-the-Project Ro$e is going to put there! Probably a hot dog stand.

Stuy Town Reporter said...

Once in a very rare blue moon a child or two would play there for a couple of minutes. Otherwise, it was chiefly used as a sunbathing deck--or rather, mound.

Anonymous said...

New Oval Amenity: Oval Compost. Wait for it...

Stuy Town Reporter said...

We already have Oval Compost! I'll try to get a photograph of it.

Anonymous said...

Won't be too hard. There is crap everywhere today.

Anonymous said...

Actually, I would love an Oval Compost! It would be a really good way to dispose of our food waste, and create soil. I would even love to have gardening plots that residents could adopt, even grow tomatoes, kale, peppers, eggplant--all gorgeous plants and delicious as well.

Stuy Town Reporter said...

Funny, there are more children there now, playing in the mud and dirt with toy trucks, than there ever were playing golf.

Anonymous said...

OK, so Oval Compost has already "been done." Time to move on.

I hear through the grapevine that the putting green will be turned into "Oval Vomitorium."

Unlike the other "amenities," this one will be open to all, free of charge. Just another benefit of residency!

"Coming home from a long night of all-you-can-drink pub crawls on the LES? Feeling a bit...full? Having a hard time keeping up with your compatriots in the 'who can scream at the top of their lungs' contest at 2:47AM??? Then we have an amenity for you...Oval Vomitorium! Puking in the elevator and all over the mailboxes is so...well...2010. Pay a visit to Oval Vomitorium. Open 24/7."

I hear it will be an old bathtub from a recently renovated apartment and a towel dispenser. The mudpile stays...

Stuy Town Reporter said...

I await!

Anonymous said...

Vomitorium Update:

Bad news. Looks like Rose will not move forward with Oval Vomitorium. I, for one, am very disappointed.

Apparently the old saying: you can lead an entitled YUNNIE to the Vomitorium but you can't make him/her puke. Some things never change.

Apparently, after a great deal of market research (MCI to be filed in '13), they determined that dormies paying $850/mo. for their flop were just not willing to go to a central location to heave. They cited comments from Carrie College as summing up the sentiment of their target market; "Like, why should I walk all the way over there when I can just do it on my shoes on the elevator on the way home?!? I'm in there anyway and I don't have to clean it up! Daddy, I need new shoes..."

Another loss for the community.

The Bat said...

$850 a month? Have you seen the new rents on the Stuy Town web site? For two people to turn a one bedroom into a dorm with a fake wall will cost them each about $1,700 each, not counting the wall. No charge for Oval Compost.

Anonymous said...

I was assuming 4 yunnies in a 1br. Two illegal walls. Free internet. Oval Compost--extra. And, as we all know, Oval Vomitorium is now a thing of the past. It makes me sick, I tell ya....

Anonymous said...

It should take Rose about 4 years to turn the putting green into something really dumb like a "gourmet" lemonade stand. They can't do dick with any type of efficiency.

Anonymous said...

Very wrong about Rose.

It's already "Oval Mud."

Stuy Town Reporter said...

Now it's Oval Mud, but I fear what they will eventually put in there. Lady Maya is an "expert" on using space. So, there's a space there. It's going to be used. Somehow.

Anonymous said...

That looks like a freshly dug grave. Is Rose pimping out the property as Forest Lawns East? Where do I go to buy a plot? Oval Undertaker?

Anonymous said...

I heard that The Frenchmen has started selling headstones...

Anonymous said...

Update:

The frame for a concrete foundation has been put in place and electric conduit has been laid.

I'm getting my finger ready to gag myself once I see what permanent defilement is cemented in place...

Stuy Town Reporter said...

A security guardhouse. It has to be. Can't be ATM machines. Not yet, anyway.

Stuy Town Reporter said...

Surrounded by trees and plants, this will give the guardhouse easy viewing access of the entire Oval. Security cars can pack themselves in better to the enlarged pathway there. A win-win situation!

Stuy Town Reporter said...

I swear there HAS to be someone who thinks up of these things for Rose Associates and gets paid for the displeasure. But who? Fess up, Adam!

Anonymous said...

Now we know what it is--"Oval Contraceptive."

A 24 hour condom/Red Bull vending machine "oasis."

Shrubbery will be planted to shield the uninitiated from those who "choose to use" in the immediate vicinity of the dispenser.

Anonymous said...

Playgrounds 3 and 10 have ASTRO TURF which is good for golf....so why are they chasing the golfers out? How about the folks with kids go to the Oval insead? We should all be happy.