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Friday, July 22, 2011
Rose Associates Requests City Park Status for the Oval and the Conversion of the Oval Fountain to a City Pool
In a dramatic Friday morning announcement, Adam Rose of Rose Associates and manager-in-chief of Stuyvesant Town/Peter Cooper Village, announced that he has requested the City Council and the Mayor, the Honorable Michael R. Bloomberg, to fast track the legal conversion of the Oval in Stuyvesant Town, hitherto private property, into a city park and the Oval Fountain into a city pool.
"We've been heading in this direction anyway," stated Rose, "and I think this will balance the needs of the community and also give CW Capital, holders of the 3 billion dollar senior mortgage, a financial break and me some breathing room to deal more effectively with all the furniture dumping that's happening here."
According to the plan, the city will take over the entire Oval area, including its upkeep, dramatically alleviating the financial burden and administrative strains placed on CW Capital and Rose Associates, respectively.
Lady Maya Autret, Director of Programing for the complex and the person whose motto is "let no space be unused," had already set in motion the conversion of the fountain into a pool, irregardless of the outcome in the requested city park status of the Oval grounds and pool. "The fountain was a useless, completely underused space. By converting it into a pool, both residents and now hopefully all New Yorkers, will be able to refresh themselves in the hot summer months. Oval Essential members will be able to participate in special swimming classes and the occasional game of water bocci, a sophisticated non-rough sport that is played by Parisians in the know."
Of course, like anything else in Stuyvesant Town, the plan is sure to be opposed by certain residents, who have noticed more and more an influx of outsiders to the Oval grounds and for Oval events and concerts. But Lady Autret says that the time has come to keep up with the times. "There has been a great demand among PCV/ST residents for an outdoor pool, and so this conversion was a no-brainer. The water and plumbing were already there, after all. We are, however, trying to balance everybody's needs, so we will add one more small geyser to the mini-fountain in Peter Cooper Village to satisfy PCV/ST fountain fans."
While Rose Associates waits for a positive response from the City Council and the Mayor, work on the Oval fountain will begin in the fall, as well as on the installation of ATM machines at four corners of the Oval to meet the increasing demand for change needed for the twelve food trucks that have descended on the Oval grounds since the summer, day and night.
Note: This is a parody, but at times it doesn't seem like one.